Coming Out of My Funk – with LOL Cat Illustrations
15 Nov 2011 1 Comment
in health and weigtloss, It's All About Me Tags: depression and crap
See? I haven’t forgotten. I’ve been rattling my brain, trying to figure out what to start with. There’s really so much going on, but I thought I’d start with the heavy stuff.
I don’t know how many of you read Hyperbole and a Half, but if you do, you will have seen the recent entry about depression. Sigh. I so relate to that.
Since my knee surgery in July, I have been having issues. I’ve been exhausted, and cranky, and supermega stress – and it’s not been pretty. I’ve snapped at people, and in general have been a cranky, sleepy, upset bitch. Seriously, I could really rival some of the big bad villans in your favorite superhero stories. I haven’t wanted to be around myself, and I’ve been existing on coffee. Most days, I resemble this:
Between school, my job, and stress over some random crap at home, this was how I wanted to spend most of my day…
So, I sucked it up, and I talked to my doctor about it. With a history of mental issues in my family combined with what I was going through, it was smart to bring it up with my doctor just to make sure everything was ok. He and I spoke, and he said he thought my problems may have stemmed from a lack of sleep. I was having issues falling asleep and staying asleep, and he wanted to determine if my issues stemmed from the lack of sleep, or if the lack of sleep were due ot depression. So, he prescribed some ambien to take care of the sleep issues, and gave me some sleep rules – the bed room is for sleep and sex, nothing more. Go to bed when its dark, and wake up with its light. Get 8 hours of sleep. No napping. NO NAPPING? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN NO NAPPING? SERIOUSLY, THAT’S MY FAVORITE PASS TIME…*ahem*
So I got the ambien filled. Now, let me tell you about ambien. It says to take it when you are ready to sleep. And they freaking mean it. Because no sooner had I swallowed the pills before I was drooling. ZONK. It’s not one of those pills you take in the bathroom and think you have time to make it to the bed. Because you’ll end up like this:
So, for 20 days, I took my ambien, and followed my sleep rules (to the dismay of my husband, who very much misses watching tv in bed) and I got 8 hours of sleep a night.
And I was still stressed and grumpy, and exhausted. So they checked my thyroid too. Because blood work is so much fun. But my thyroid is normal. And they are checking my vitamin D, which could be low…and and and…I feel like a pin cushion.
So, now I’m waiting two more weeks to determine if my Vit D is low. If it is, they’ll increase my D supplements and perhaps put me back on iron. And if that is all ok, they are going to put me on happy pills. No matter what, I’m determined to beat whatever is holding me down…and get back to happy…because everyone deserves to feel happy…no?
And I’ll beat the evil depression/exhaustion/whatever it is once and for all.
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