Lots to Update

Lots of news – vacation pics, new kitty pics…and a brand new great-nephew who arrived in the world last night – posts soon to follow, I promise.

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La Vacances

So, we’re running around the house like chicken with our heads cut off getting ready to leave for vacation tomorrow after work.

An entire week at La Casa de Pollo – I’m so excited!  And believe you me, I need the break.  But the getting ready part, oy vey that is a pain in the butt – it’s like a whole job just getting ready to go on vacation.

You’d think since there are just the two of us that it wouldn’t be so bad – and since we own the place down there, we should have what we need, right?  RIGHT?

But NOOOOOO

My husband informed me last night he only six pairs of underwear that fit him.  o.O  How does this happen?  I buy him underwear.  I wash it and dry it and put it away.  And yet still he only has six pairs?  Seriously?  We’re going for NINE days.  Last I checked, six doesn’t equal nine.  So what does he tell me?  “I’ll just turn them inside out.”  WTF?  Um, no.    You see, there are no washer and dryers in our beach home…none.  There’s a laundromat but it costs about $4.00 to do a load of laundry.  $4.00!!!  Guess I’ll be washing undies in the sink.  Sigh.

And we have to pack for nine days.  Not just clothes…but food, and stuff for the dog.  Plus I have to get the house in order for the lady who is coming by to watch the cat and bring in our mail.  Although we’re actually debating taking the cat with us.  If we can stand 3.5 hours in the car with her screaming at the top of her lungs….or she’d end up escaping the carrier and driving herself…

So, anyhoo – lots to do and little time to do it.  But at least its vacation!

Melancholy Baby

I know I haven’t posted anything in a while.  I’ve been having some personal issues that I just haven’t been able to put into words.  Most nights, I’ve gotten home from work and completely vegged out, not even thinking to pick up the laptop and post.

Lately, I’ve been feeling as if I’m incomplete.  Long ago and what seems like far away, when I had my heart attack, I resigned myself to the fact that Bob and I would likely probably never have children of our own.  And I was ok with that.  And he was ok with that.  It was sad for me – I’d always pictured myself as a mother.  And don’t get me wrong, I love and adore my step-daughters and step-grandchildren, and just love my nieces and nephews to death.  But there was still that, “If only I could have my own” that nagged at the back of my brain.

Well, lately, since the weight has come off, that little nag at the back of my brain has worked its way to the front.  It’s there like a speed bump I can’t get over….like a constant tiny mosquito bite to my heart.  Now that my body could physically carry a child, it seems as if we have lost our opportunity for it.  And let’s face it, a child right now, although loved and spoiled, would be, for the most part, inconvenient.

Bob is nearly 54.  I’m nearly 38.  At this point in our lives, a child would mean drastric changes that we aren’t willing to accept in our lives.  We don’t want to be at retirement and going to our child’s highschool graduation or worry about paying for weddings or college.  Now that my body and heart are ready for a baby, the mind and the husband just aren’t.  Bob is pretty adament about NOT having children at this stage.  And I totally respect that.  I totally understand.

But it doesn’t make me any less sad about it.

And so, for the past few weeks, I’ve felt as if this big piece of my life has been missing.  And I’m mourning that piece all over again, as I did seven years ago.  And it stings.  And I know eventually I’ll come to terms with it, and move on.  But for now, I’m doing a lot of wallowing in self-pity.

I think a lot of what is contributing is that it seems just about everyone I know and care about now is either pregnant, has just had a baby, or is trying to have a baby.  And it makes that sting just a little bit worse.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m happy for those babies that are coming to be.  And I love and worship those babies and their parents.  My best friend just had a beautiful little girl who already has her daddy and her mother and her brothers wrapped around her beautiful little finger.  My niece is due any day with my first great nephew (on my side of the family – I have a bazillion on Bob’s side).  My cousin had a gorgeous little boy last month.  My cousin on Bob’s side is also due any day with a little boy, and another cousin is due next month with one.  It seems as if there are babies hitting me from every possible angle, and the sting is great right now.

So, if I’ve been quiet here, that’s why.  We leave on vacation Friday after work.  Maybe a week in Virginia will help ease the sting a bit.

But for now, I’ll be your meloncholy baby.

Yayayayayayayayayayay!

My birthday isn’t until next month, but my Mom gave me my present early today.  A Keurig!

My coffee addiction…let me show you it.

I’m so excited!!

Pimping My Husband’s Website

So, we interrupt our regularly scheduled snarking to pimp my husband’s new websites.

MarylandDJBob

and

DJBob

If you are looking for a DJ in the Northeastern Maryland or Baltimore Area, or the Eastern Shore of VA, please visit his websites and check him out.  Plus, he’s really hawt in a tux.  Just sayin’.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled snark.