Unavoidable

Surgery, that is.

I saw my ortho on Friday…hoping against all hope he’d ask me to continue my PT and maybe get a cortisone shot.

Psh.

He took one look at my MRI.  Severe arthritis.  No cartilage.  None.

Surgery is now scheduled for July 13th.  But this isn’t going to be like the last surgery.  The last one was outpatient.  It was arthriscopic.  It hurt like a bitch, because Iwasn’t allowed to put any weight at all on it for two weeks, but I came home with an ace bandage and a little bandaid.

This surgery is different.  They are opening my knee up.  I’m going to have him clean out the knee, but in addition to that, he’s going to do a cartilage grapht.  Which apparently means they are taking my knee cap out, flipping it over, and graphting cartliage on the back of the knee cap, and then putting it back in.

At which point I said, “Wait, can you go back to the whole part where you said, ‘Taking the knee cap out?'”

And kept myself from throwing up.

Four to six week recovery period and my knee is going to be in an immobilizer.  My poor boss.  I think I need to offer to pay for his next prescription of xanax.

So…paging Dr. Summeroff….paging Dr. Summeroff….

This Post is All About Balls

Yup.

Balls.  Nuts.  Harbles.

To be specific…Bull Nuts.

Our trip to Colorado is nine days away.  I can not begin to tell you how excited I am about this.  Not just because it’s vacation, because, well, duh…it’s vacation.

But it also means that I will get my one opportunity I have to eat all the Rocky Mountain Oysters that I can.  NOM.  Yup.  I said it.  I eat bull nuts.  And I love them.

Rocky Mountain Oysters, also known as Prairie Oysters, Montana Tendergroins, Calf Fries, or swing beef, are a delicacy that squicks many people out.  I will fully admit, when my husband first told me about them, I turned several shades of green.  I mean really, I make exceptions for some balls in my mouth…but bull balls…errr….I just wasn’t sure about that one.

I battled him for a year on whether or not I’d even try them.  I mean, seriously, what on earth would make you think that bull nuts would taste good.  I mean, look at where they are LOCATED.

The, all of a sudden, these things showed up on all kinds cooking shows and travel shows, including Bizzare Foods (oh how I love that show).  I don’t eat things normally that show up on Bizarre Foods – I mean really…eww.

But then we landed in Denver.  And we went to the restaurant, and my husband ordered us a big old order or Rocky Mountain Oysters with a side (yes…seriously) of cocktail sauce.  And they smelled so good.  And then I had the questions…

“Well,” says I, “What do they taste like?”

You just have to taste one.

So….I pulled together all the courage I could muster.  I squinted my eyes, and took a bite.

Holy shit.

These things are made of awesome.  Unicorns that fart rainbows.  Kittens.  Everything that is good in the world.

Holy NOM Batman.

I’ve been hooked ever since.

Now I’m like a junky trying to get a hold on my fix.  And every year, at the end of April, my tastebuds just start crying out….and I start to get the itch….and I start looking forward to the day where I can have a big old order of Rocky Mountain Oysters.

How do I describe the taste?  It’s like the tenderest veal you’ve ever eaten.  Breaded and Deep fried.  And smothered in cocktail sauce.

*drool*

The best place to get Rocky Mountain Oysters is a little town called Chappell, NE – out in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere, Chappell is surrounded by cattle ranches.  And the freshest bunch of bull nuts you can ask for.  There’s just nothing quite like a smokey dark bar, a big old beer, and a sweet order of fresh fried bull nuts.

And this may be the only post I ever discuss holding balls in my mouth.

Admit it though – you want some.

Adventures In Orthopoedics

So, this week has been a real stinker for my body.

I’ve been getting these huge cramps in my feet in the evening.  You know the kind of cramps you get in the back of your leg that make you scream and hop around the bedroom like a crazed kangaroo?

Well, I’ve been getting them in my feet.  It makes my toes curl up, but not in a good way.  So, I saw my podiatrist on Monday, and apparently my feet are deformed.  Those are his words.  Deformed Feet.  Special.  What he said was that my toes are lower than my heel (or my heel is lower than my toe?  I can’t exactly remember) and it’s causing extra stress on my feet, especially now that I’ve lost weight.  The stress is causing my feet to cramp at night.  So, I’m having orthodics made.  In the meantime, they have put me on flexiril in the evenings before bed.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I feel like the older sister in 16 Candles most nights…

So, after that appointment, I went to my orthopoedist.  My right knee (not that one I had surgery on before) has been bad.  Grinding.  Clicking.  Popping.  Etc.  *squick*  It’s also been hurting like a mo-fo.  So, I had x-rays.  Bone spurs.  Tonight I’m having an MRI, and last night, they sent me to PT.  Now, if you have knee problems that involve bone spurs, you probably already know that PT doesn’t help.  The therapist even told me PT doesn’t help.  What he did tell me what that in this instance, they are preparing my muscles for surgery.

Yay.

More Surgery.

Yay.

Only not.

Also, my right knee cap is not in the right place.  It’s supposed to be in the middle of your knee.  Mine is over to the right.  Which is causing more issues.  And my knee is bone on bone.

Just like the left one was three years ago.

Paging Dr. Summeroff…

I so don’t want surgery again.

Although it does help that my doctor is pretty cute…

But surgery is all “ouchie” and whatnot.

Sigh.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!!!

Or as we are fond of saying, “Happy Cinco de Drinko!”

We’re having a mexican themed fiesta at work today.  I made mexican wedding cookies.  My husband says they are the nom.

Enjoy your day!!!

Oh Hai

I know…I’ve not been blogging here much.  I have been updating my photo a day site (link is in the sidebar), and have had a few updates to my Weight Loss blog (also in sidebar) but not much fodder for here.

As usual, work is like a giant black hole that has swallowed me up.  We’re leaving for Colorado in 21 days (SQUEE) though, and I’m so looking forward to that trip.  We’re going to take an overnight in Colorado Springs and visit Garden of the Gods…

Garden of the Gods

and we’re going up to Cripple Creek for the day while we’re there…Cripple Creek is an old mining town that used to be known for, well, mining…but now is known for Casinos.  Neither of us are gamblers, but there are some old museums up there we’d like to visit and an old bordello museum.  My husband is quite excited about that part…

We’re also heading to the big Guerrero family reunion over Memorial Day out in Sterling.  There’s not much exciting to visit in Sterling…well, except a maximum security prison…um, yeah…and the Big Guerrero Family Reunion…that’s fun.  We’ll be having our big Texas Hold ‘Em Tourney and eat a lot of good mexican food.

We’ll also be visiting Pierce, Ault, Nunn, Greeley, Loveland, Thornton, Denver, Commerce City, and Estes Park.  Yay for big family!

So vacation is 21 days away.  But who’s counting?