Updates are a Helpful Thing

So, in reference to my last post, the baby did in fact arrive on August 6th, and about 10:20pm. She was 7lbs, 12.5 oz, and gorgeous.  Her name is Alani.  Her big sister Braelyn is still not sure about this whole “sister” thing.  Grammie is in love.  Jessica had a very rough labor and delivery which ended in an emergency c-section and her being under general anesthesia.  Alani was sunny-side-up and stuck.  Mamma and baby are both doing wonderfully now and Jess says Alani is a very good baby.

Class finished up last week.  I got my final back and managed to get an A.  Hallelujah.  Stats is over.  Yay.

Surgery is scheduled for the 22nd.  More about that on my other blog (see link below).


Hippity Hoppity Easter Y’all!

Another Frickin’ Snowstorm

I woke up this morning to this…


Notice the tracks in the snow – that is exactly how far the dog walked to pee.  I dutifully cleaned off my car and caught the train into work.  At which point I said, “Um, what the hell am I doing?  It’s nasty down here.”  So I collected a ton of work and took the 1:15 train home.

It had stopped snowing by then but it’s started back up.  We are supposed to get hit with 6 to 10 inches tonight.  I’m seriously OVER IT!  Done with snow.  It’s not magical and purdy.  It’s craptastic.  It really sucks when you have to commute 40 miles one way to work.  On public transportation.  I hate it.

I have enough work to stay home tomorrow if I need to (ok, let’s face it – I ain’t going in – we already have about 4 inches out there and it’s no where near done snowing).  Which means I’m trapped in the house with my darling husband.  And the History channel.  And his gun shows like American Rifleman.  I’m getting closter-snow-phobic with all this crap.  Teh bored has set it.  When that happens, I start doing things to amuse myself…like this…

Let’s just say the devil made me do it.

And I begin to torment the cats…

"I am plotting your demise...I shall follow through as soon as I figure out how to open the food cans myself."

And take pictures of my husband in compromising positions….

"You're not posting that on facebook are you?"

And instead of drying off the dog, I take pictures of her first (yes, I DID dry her off)…


Day 4 – 30 Day Meme

Something you have to forgive someone for…this one is behind the jump…


30 Day Meme

I need to get myself back to blogging regularly.  So I’m yoinking this to give it a go.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Day 1 – Something I hate about myself – Well, I hate my turkey neck and floppity skin, but it means that I’ve come a long long way, so I can’t totally hate it.

I do hate my short temper – which has been made worse now that my poor hormones have no where to hide.  I don’t relish being a bitch (*ahem, most of the time) and sometimes I wish I weren’t so short with people.

This Is What NORMAL Feels Like – Cross Post

I posted this over at I’m Being Bypassed this morning but it’s an important one and I want to share it here as well.

Every now and then, I’ll catch a reflection of myself – either in a mirror, or a window – and am surprised to realize that it’s me. Once in a while, I’ll glance down at my lap while seated and actually see a lap. Occasionally, I’ll look down at my feet and legs and marvel at how, well, “normal” I look.

Mentally, that fat girl is still there poking fun at me. Sometimes it’s hard for my brain to digest the fact that my boobs (which even when I was fat were a small C cup) actually stick out farther than my stomach does now. It’s completely wild for me to see collar bones, or the tendons in my neck, hands and feet. It amazes me to see that I actually have slender fingers.

It makes me feel normal. I’ve never felt normal.

Things are so different for me today than they were one year ago. I can sit on the bus and instead of spilling over into the seat next to me having to sit with one cheek on the seat and one cheek hanging in the aisle, now I don’t even take up an entire seat. I can walk the six blocks from the bus stop to work without getting winded. In fact, I don’t feel the strain at all – it almost feels as if I’m floating. I don’t feel as if I have to apologize to people for taking up more than my allotted space on the sidewalk, elevator or bus. I can go up the stairs in my house without feeling as if I’m going to pass out. When I go to the gym, I no longer feel as if everyone is staring at me wondering what in the heck the fat chick is doing there. I’m no longer the largest person in the room. I’m smaller than my husband. I have bones and muscles. I have self-confidence.

When I set out on this journey in April of 2009, I honestly felt deep down that even this wasn’t going to work. I was doomed to be fat – destined to be ridiculed, to be sick, to die young. Now, even with all the possibilities that lie ahead of me, what feels best now is feeling NORMAL.

Over the weekend, my mom had asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I told her that she didn’t have to give me anything – we’d like to keep our Christmas spending to the children this year – which is still expensive seeing that we have eight grandchildren and a brand new great nephew that I lump in with the grandkids. But she said she’d already gotten my sister something, and felt it was only fair. I told her I honestly didn’t need or want anything, but I’d think about it. So two nights ago, she called me and with great pride said she’d figured out what she was going to give me for Christmas this year. $100 to spend on a pair of “sexy” boots. I had mentioned that I’d like to get a pair, since they never fit on my calves before. She said she wanted me to pick them out, but that’s what she wanted to give me. Then, with a catch in her throat, she said that she was sorry that all my life I’d had to dress like an old woman. I deserved to have some sexy things.

THIS is what normal feels like. And it feels pretty damned amazing.

I Freakin’ LOVE Halloween!!!

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